It is hard to believe that on June 30th Dave and I will have been married for 26 years. We were talking not long ago that the years have gone by so fast....so many wonderful memories. He still gives me a hard time that I took the words "obey" out of our vows. There is just no way that I could have kept that one.......
Today I felt the weight of our vows so deeply in my heart..."to love, honor, and cherish thru sickness and thru health" ....after visiting with doctors and praying for guidance, I have decided to cease cancer treatments and bring Dave home. Hospice has already been to our house and he has a bed by ours so that we can still sleep together at night. A nurse will be out tomorrow to assess his health needs further so that we can be sure that he is comfortable. It is the hardest decision that I have ever had to make and although my heart feels heavy, I know that it is the right decision.
Dave has fought this cancer so bravely, but he is tired. He no longer has the ability to speak and it is hard for him to swollow. He does still follow what we say because he can follow directions or nod. I just want him to be here in the house that we built together where we can continue to make memories with our kids and our friends.
Today as the ambulence brought him home (he is too weak to travel by car), reality set in for me. The kids are going to take turns staying with me at night. I will cherish whatever time we have left, his love has been the greatest gift in my life.
Blessings to all who have helped us walk this journey........
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Wednesday April 28
Dave was very uncomfortable this evening and somewhat agitated, it is the first time I have seen him become so agitated ( I can generally soothe him by talking quietly about random things), but after a series of MEDS he is resting well.
Dr. Reddy came in this afternoon and we visited about treatment options. There were too many visitors here to discuss plans with Dave, so he will be back at 8:00 in the morning. I have cancelled radiation permanently, it's "benefit" was not worth the detriment to Dave's well being. I have cancelled his chemo that was scheduled for tomorrow....I think Dave has had just about enough for one week...
I am fairly sure that we will be heading home tomorrow, I suppose it depends on how the rest of the night goes. Chris is coming up after work and Cayte is working so I may go home and get some sleep so that I can return early in the morning.
My mother who was supposed to come tomorrow evidently showed up sometime this afternoon ????............everyone say a little prayer......
Blessings to all........
Dr. Reddy came in this afternoon and we visited about treatment options. There were too many visitors here to discuss plans with Dave, so he will be back at 8:00 in the morning. I have cancelled radiation permanently, it's "benefit" was not worth the detriment to Dave's well being. I have cancelled his chemo that was scheduled for tomorrow....I think Dave has had just about enough for one week...
I am fairly sure that we will be heading home tomorrow, I suppose it depends on how the rest of the night goes. Chris is coming up after work and Cayte is working so I may go home and get some sleep so that I can return early in the morning.
My mother who was supposed to come tomorrow evidently showed up sometime this afternoon ????............everyone say a little prayer......
Blessings to all........
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Tuesday April 27th
This has been quite an eventful 24 hours!
We have been in St. Francis since last night. Dave began having trouble breathing and was having chest pains, so we brought him in to be assessed and to get some relief. They gave him a breathing treatment and followed with oxygen for a couple of hours; when he was stable they moved him to Medical ICU. The doctor was here at 1:30 this morning and stayed for quite awhile. We have decided that for the time being, radiation is not in Dave's best interest and after all of the blood work and assessments are complete we will decide if chemo is still an appropriate measure as well. He is comfortable today and is eating solid food....his thought processes, both receptive and expressive seem to be fairly normal, but in slow motion. His oxygen is normal and steady.
If you call, please call my phone (250-5963), or e-mail me at cpettay@att.net. Please do not call Dave on his phone, because he needs his rest. Visitors are fine but in small increments of time.....(Dave is very frail.) We are in a holding pattern here...and will see what the day brings.....We know that he does have some pneumonia and that is being treated with IV antibiotics, other than that we will just have to wait.....The doctor will be in sometime today.
Thank you for your many blessings.....Dave needs your prayers.
We have been in St. Francis since last night. Dave began having trouble breathing and was having chest pains, so we brought him in to be assessed and to get some relief. They gave him a breathing treatment and followed with oxygen for a couple of hours; when he was stable they moved him to Medical ICU. The doctor was here at 1:30 this morning and stayed for quite awhile. We have decided that for the time being, radiation is not in Dave's best interest and after all of the blood work and assessments are complete we will decide if chemo is still an appropriate measure as well. He is comfortable today and is eating solid food....his thought processes, both receptive and expressive seem to be fairly normal, but in slow motion. His oxygen is normal and steady.
If you call, please call my phone (250-5963), or e-mail me at cpettay@att.net. Please do not call Dave on his phone, because he needs his rest. Visitors are fine but in small increments of time.....(Dave is very frail.) We are in a holding pattern here...and will see what the day brings.....We know that he does have some pneumonia and that is being treated with IV antibiotics, other than that we will just have to wait.....The doctor will be in sometime today.
Thank you for your many blessings.....Dave needs your prayers.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Monday April 26th
Friends, after careful thought I am asking that you refrain from visits for awhile. The cancer and the radiation have really taken a toll on Dave to a point that visits fatigue him and communication is difficult. Hopefully he will rally in a few days and things can get back to "normal". Cards and e-mails are still appreciated....thank you so much for your understanding!! I will let you know as things progress......
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Sunday April 25th
Once again this was a very busy weekend for Dave and our "revolving door" of company! Kip, Leeann, and Jayden came over Friday night and brought Mexican food....who would guess that Dave would be in the mood for that!! HAHA...he is hard to second guess. Mike, Karey and Roz were here from Texas and his sister from Olathe, Janice, Tim, Scott and Alex were here as well. There was a family reunion this weekend in Hutch so everyone was coming this way .....it was a fun visit for us all. Matt and Cayte came over and brought "Big Matt" with them...(it was good to see him).....Chris and Morgan were here most of the weekend....there was a housefull.
I rented some movies, and when Chris came to get Morgan after work this evening, Dave, the dog and I were all in bed, half asleep watching TV. It was a phone off the hook night......
Our week will be a busy one, since he has radiation every day at 11:00. In addition he will go from radiation to chemo on Thursday. That will be a long day that will begin at about 10:30 and go until possibly 4 or 5:00. Chris has offered to take Dave to radiation every day, and that is a help to me since Dave is for all practical purposes bound to his wheelchair. It is getting harder for me to get him in and out of the car, but Chris is able to lift him. It also gives them some time alone together...which they both enjoy.
We continue to receive so many e-mails ad cards. It is amazing the people that we have heard from.....My answering machine is not working......so if you really need me keep trying or call my cell...250-5963.
I visited with Marsha Rowley this afternoon and Dave got all of his paperwork in for the sick leave bank. He will finish the year with enough days that he will not be "docked" pay. He has worried about that fact from day one.....so all is good. He is just really disappointed that the radiation keeps him from going to school.....what a remarkable guy......
Phyllis Guinn and her mom came by this weekend too...It was so good to see them. Her mom is such a remarkable lady.....she is 90+ and holding.....but she looks at least 20 years younger....I think her secret is a positive outlook on life and a smile for everyone......anyway they brought over the poster for the Benefit Bash that is scheduled for May 16th for Dave. There are no words to describe how moved I was when her son (and band member) Kevan called me to ask if they could do this...it will be a very emotional night.
Blessings to all...hope that you have a great week.....
I rented some movies, and when Chris came to get Morgan after work this evening, Dave, the dog and I were all in bed, half asleep watching TV. It was a phone off the hook night......
Our week will be a busy one, since he has radiation every day at 11:00. In addition he will go from radiation to chemo on Thursday. That will be a long day that will begin at about 10:30 and go until possibly 4 or 5:00. Chris has offered to take Dave to radiation every day, and that is a help to me since Dave is for all practical purposes bound to his wheelchair. It is getting harder for me to get him in and out of the car, but Chris is able to lift him. It also gives them some time alone together...which they both enjoy.
We continue to receive so many e-mails ad cards. It is amazing the people that we have heard from.....My answering machine is not working......so if you really need me keep trying or call my cell...250-5963.
I visited with Marsha Rowley this afternoon and Dave got all of his paperwork in for the sick leave bank. He will finish the year with enough days that he will not be "docked" pay. He has worried about that fact from day one.....so all is good. He is just really disappointed that the radiation keeps him from going to school.....what a remarkable guy......
Phyllis Guinn and her mom came by this weekend too...It was so good to see them. Her mom is such a remarkable lady.....she is 90+ and holding.....but she looks at least 20 years younger....I think her secret is a positive outlook on life and a smile for everyone......anyway they brought over the poster for the Benefit Bash that is scheduled for May 16th for Dave. There are no words to describe how moved I was when her son (and band member) Kevan called me to ask if they could do this...it will be a very emotional night.
Blessings to all...hope that you have a great week.....
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Thursday April 22nd
Today was a bit better. Dave is still weak, but not nauseous. We got his blood done and a bag of hydration from West Wichita this morning and then did radiation at 11:00. Our dr.(Davison) at West Wichita as well as his entire staff have been wonderful to help us thru all of this...
Dave slept most of the day. The dr. said that fatigue would possibly be the biggest side effect of radiation. I cleaned house most of the day since I didn't have to mow my lawn (thanks Dave Warn)!!!
Chris and Bailie came by this evening...she and I rented movies and the guys watched basketball..........it was actually a nice evening.
We continue to get e-mails and beautiful messages in cards.....thank you to everyone ...... you keep us afloat some days when the spirit is weak...I pay your kindness forward whenever I can........
Blessings to all......
Dave slept most of the day. The dr. said that fatigue would possibly be the biggest side effect of radiation. I cleaned house most of the day since I didn't have to mow my lawn (thanks Dave Warn)!!!
Chris and Bailie came by this evening...she and I rented movies and the guys watched basketball..........it was actually a nice evening.
We continue to get e-mails and beautiful messages in cards.....thank you to everyone ...... you keep us afloat some days when the spirit is weak...I pay your kindness forward whenever I can........
Blessings to all......
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Wednesday April 21st
Today was a rocky start for Dave. He woke up early not feeling well and I spent the next several hours trying to medicate appropriately and hydrate to get his nausea and stomach cramps to settle. Needless to say we did not go to our first radiation appointment. We will just begin tomorrow after our labs at West Wichita.
Chris stayed with Dave this afternoon so that I could get out and pick up Dave's prescriptions from the Cancer Center and then go to West Wichita to make sure that they were planning on us tomorrow for labs. I was able to see our family doc.....(Joe Davison). I told him that I was concerned about Dave needing hydration so he has it set up for first thing in the morning. The entire staff there has been so good to us during this entire process.....sometimes the Cancer Center is just too busy...I often feel very invisible when I am there......
He slept most of the day but seems better tonight. Hopefully he will be up for the appointments that are ahead of us tomorrow.....I guess we will see.
Blessings to all.....
Chris stayed with Dave this afternoon so that I could get out and pick up Dave's prescriptions from the Cancer Center and then go to West Wichita to make sure that they were planning on us tomorrow for labs. I was able to see our family doc.....(Joe Davison). I told him that I was concerned about Dave needing hydration so he has it set up for first thing in the morning. The entire staff there has been so good to us during this entire process.....sometimes the Cancer Center is just too busy...I often feel very invisible when I am there......
He slept most of the day but seems better tonight. Hopefully he will be up for the appointments that are ahead of us tomorrow.....I guess we will see.
Blessings to all.....
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Tuesday April 20th
Happy birthday to my nephew Josh tomorrow and belated to our niece Stephanie on April 9th...better late than never Steph!!
Dave went in for an MRI on Monday and the results showed numerous lesions throughout his brain. So we are to begin "whole brain" radiation tomorrow. He will receive 15 treatments. They will be given once a day for 15 days, excluding Saturday and Sunday. The dr seems to think that we have no choice in the matter. The consequences of not treating are just not good. Dave is all for it, and I respect his wishes.
We go to West Wichita on Thursday for lab work and that will give some good information as to how he is progressing with the chemo. He will not receive another body scan for another 4 weeks. The past week or so he has gotten visibly weaker and his appetite is just about zero. What he does eat, he does not always keep down, so I just want to make sure that the treatments given are in Dave's best interest, and not just because they can........
His ability to go thru all of this and never complain is amazing! His biggest concern is that he cannot go to school as he has been doing....but he will be at Track practice if at all possible. The support from his colleagues is what gives me the strength to take him to school each day and leave him. He absolutely does not want to give up his contact with them or with the kids. I think they have been the greatest healer for him throughout all of this.
Again, thank you all for your prayers and support....Deb Bishoff....thanks so much for dinner...it was so nice not to have to do anything but heat and eat!!!
Love and blessings to all!!!
Dave went in for an MRI on Monday and the results showed numerous lesions throughout his brain. So we are to begin "whole brain" radiation tomorrow. He will receive 15 treatments. They will be given once a day for 15 days, excluding Saturday and Sunday. The dr seems to think that we have no choice in the matter. The consequences of not treating are just not good. Dave is all for it, and I respect his wishes.
We go to West Wichita on Thursday for lab work and that will give some good information as to how he is progressing with the chemo. He will not receive another body scan for another 4 weeks. The past week or so he has gotten visibly weaker and his appetite is just about zero. What he does eat, he does not always keep down, so I just want to make sure that the treatments given are in Dave's best interest, and not just because they can........
His ability to go thru all of this and never complain is amazing! His biggest concern is that he cannot go to school as he has been doing....but he will be at Track practice if at all possible. The support from his colleagues is what gives me the strength to take him to school each day and leave him. He absolutely does not want to give up his contact with them or with the kids. I think they have been the greatest healer for him throughout all of this.
Again, thank you all for your prayers and support....Deb Bishoff....thanks so much for dinner...it was so nice not to have to do anything but heat and eat!!!
Love and blessings to all!!!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Friday April 16th
This has been a day of ups and downs.....Dave is very fatigued from his chemo, and looks pale today. He was sick this morning but began to feel better as the day progressed.We had a 10:00 appointment with the radiologist this morning, who did the cyberkinfe on his back. It was to be a 1 month follow-up but Dr. Kelly is pushing to do radiation on Dave's brain, and has ordered an MRI for Monday. He told us that although the last scan showed cancer in 5 small areas of the brain, that might not be accurate, (since the scan is less specific than an MRI.)
According to him the cancer might be much more invasive, and preceeded to tell us some of the consequences of not dealing with it. Needless to say we are going to follow thru on the MRI, and Dave wants to do the radiation as well. I am concerned that it might have an effect on personality and cognition, but Dr. Kelly said no. I am still very fearful......I just can't seem to put into words why I feel as I do. It is however Dave's decision and I will stand by his wishes......I totally gave this day up to the Lord because it was far too much for me to carry.....
We had friends come over tonight with dinner......Joan, John, Jeannie, Ernie, Patty, and Bailie lightened the mood. We really had a good time talking and laughing. When they left I realized that we didn't talk about cancer once.....maybe that was the Lord's way of lightening the load and setting my sights to face another day!
Dave is such a blessing in my life and each day we spend together is a gift.
Blessings to all.......
According to him the cancer might be much more invasive, and preceeded to tell us some of the consequences of not dealing with it. Needless to say we are going to follow thru on the MRI, and Dave wants to do the radiation as well. I am concerned that it might have an effect on personality and cognition, but Dr. Kelly said no. I am still very fearful......I just can't seem to put into words why I feel as I do. It is however Dave's decision and I will stand by his wishes......I totally gave this day up to the Lord because it was far too much for me to carry.....
We had friends come over tonight with dinner......Joan, John, Jeannie, Ernie, Patty, and Bailie lightened the mood. We really had a good time talking and laughing. When they left I realized that we didn't talk about cancer once.....maybe that was the Lord's way of lightening the load and setting my sights to face another day!
Dave is such a blessing in my life and each day we spend together is a gift.
Blessings to all.......
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Thursday March 15th
Dave had chemo today, another marathon appointment. It was such a beautiful day...I hated spending it inside a building! We left the house at 10:00 and returned at almost 2:30, but as usual Dave never complains. How lucky I am that in spite of all that we have to deal with he remains positive.....I am amazed by him each and every day!!
Hope everyone has a great weekend......blessings to all!
Hope everyone has a great weekend......blessings to all!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Monday April 12th
Chris and Bailey came over this evening we enjoyed some left over fried chicken and potatoes that Teresa Buchanan brought over last night and then watched a movie together. We took the phone off the hook because none of us wanted to talk ....kind of naughty, but sometimes we just need the time uninterrupted.
Dave went to school again today and is going to try to go to a track meet in Hutch tomorrow. There will be someone there if he gets tired and needs to come home. Hope all goes well for him, he is certainly determined!
Blessings to all who have faithfully supported us........
Dave went to school again today and is going to try to go to a track meet in Hutch tomorrow. There will be someone there if he gets tired and needs to come home. Hope all goes well for him, he is certainly determined!
Blessings to all who have faithfully supported us........
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Sunday April 11th
I know that some of you worry when I don't post every day, but just know that no news is good news.
Dave continues to go to school...he is like the Energizer Bunny! He then naps before going to track practice. Once track practice is over he is pretty much down and out for the rest of the evening (and so am I). Our chemo days are on Thursdays with one Thursday a month "off". It is on that Thursday that he gets blood work and/or scans.
Saturday night Joan and John picked us up at 5:30 for a Wichita Wild game. He and John do the color commentary and Joan and I get to visit. There were quite a few from the "Maize South gang" there, we had a really good time. If you haven't gone to a game at Hartman Arena, you really should consider going. It is a great setup, and they really do cater to the kids in the audience.
We continue to receive cards and e-mail daily and they really are helpful. They do make a difference in our days. There is nothing that anyone can do for us but....the correspondance DOES make an impact! ( I do however thank Fred Royse for changing the oil and sharpening the blades on my lawn mower)
Blessings to all....
Dave continues to go to school...he is like the Energizer Bunny! He then naps before going to track practice. Once track practice is over he is pretty much down and out for the rest of the evening (and so am I). Our chemo days are on Thursdays with one Thursday a month "off". It is on that Thursday that he gets blood work and/or scans.
Saturday night Joan and John picked us up at 5:30 for a Wichita Wild game. He and John do the color commentary and Joan and I get to visit. There were quite a few from the "Maize South gang" there, we had a really good time. If you haven't gone to a game at Hartman Arena, you really should consider going. It is a great setup, and they really do cater to the kids in the audience.
We continue to receive cards and e-mail daily and they really are helpful. They do make a difference in our days. There is nothing that anyone can do for us but....the correspondance DOES make an impact! ( I do however thank Fred Royse for changing the oil and sharpening the blades on my lawn mower)
Blessings to all....
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Wednesday April 7th
Dave went to work today, but not to track practice. It was really windy and cool, plus he was feeling a bit of nausea so....Nurse Ratchett grounded him!
His sister and brother-in-law (Dave and Diane) and Dave's mom came over this evening and brought dinner. We had a really nice visit. Cayte and Matt had also brought over food from Olive Garden...so we had lots of good things to eat. Dave did eat some soup and a bread stick......he was really tired when they left but was glad to see them.
Blazek's came by this evening too....they have been good to check on us.
We get thru these difficult and sometime scary days because of the strength that others give us.
Dave goes in for another chemo treatment tomorrow, and those are really long days for us. He is resting well tonight and I hope all will go well tomorrow.
Blessings to all .....
His sister and brother-in-law (Dave and Diane) and Dave's mom came over this evening and brought dinner. We had a really nice visit. Cayte and Matt had also brought over food from Olive Garden...so we had lots of good things to eat. Dave did eat some soup and a bread stick......he was really tired when they left but was glad to see them.
Blazek's came by this evening too....they have been good to check on us.
We get thru these difficult and sometime scary days because of the strength that others give us.
Dave goes in for another chemo treatment tomorrow, and those are really long days for us. He is resting well tonight and I hope all will go well tomorrow.
Blessings to all .....
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Tuesday April 6th
Dave continues to go to school, but I honestly don't know where he gets the strength. He is absolutely wiped out when he gets home.....all he does is sleep. I am not sure how much longer he can continue....getting up at 5:00 in the morning is starting to wear on me too. The kids just mean so much to him....I hope they know how much he cares about each of them.
His appetite is dwindling, I can hardly get him to eat. He is not nauseous, he is just not hungry. I fix him a very fattening protein milkshake every day for lunch, so I know he is getting at least some nutrients. Chris and I have noticed him getting visably weaker and today his color was not very good. His feet and ankles are still swollen. Cayte got him TED knee length stockings from the hospital, but they have not really made much difference.
As usual he does not complain. We notice him forgetting and not processing conversations as he once did. His speech has gotten slower...at times he is a bit snappy with us. I just cannot imagine what goes thru his mind......we just go on loving him and giving thanks for each and every day! Chris brings his dog over each day and she stays with us when he goes to work..Morgan will not leave Dave's side. As I write this she is snuggled up in bed with Dave, and I guarentee she will not be happy to go home!
As I have often said..thank you so much for your support.....
Blessings to all....
His appetite is dwindling, I can hardly get him to eat. He is not nauseous, he is just not hungry. I fix him a very fattening protein milkshake every day for lunch, so I know he is getting at least some nutrients. Chris and I have noticed him getting visably weaker and today his color was not very good. His feet and ankles are still swollen. Cayte got him TED knee length stockings from the hospital, but they have not really made much difference.
As usual he does not complain. We notice him forgetting and not processing conversations as he once did. His speech has gotten slower...at times he is a bit snappy with us. I just cannot imagine what goes thru his mind......we just go on loving him and giving thanks for each and every day! Chris brings his dog over each day and she stays with us when he goes to work..Morgan will not leave Dave's side. As I write this she is snuggled up in bed with Dave, and I guarentee she will not be happy to go home!
As I have often said..thank you so much for your support.....
Blessings to all....
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Saturday April 3rd
This was another great day! Curt's parents and his sister came over, we also got to meet Mary and her daughter...what a fun Saturday! Heather took some great pictures of the guys and I had one of them enlarged and framed for us all....priceless memories!
I hope everyone has a great Easter.....blessings to all....
I hope everyone has a great Easter.....blessings to all....
Friday, April 2, 2010
Friday April 2nd
What a wonderful day! The temperature was just right and no wind to speak of....Gary and Heather got here from Olathe at around 11:30 and Curt came shortly there after. We had a great visit and since the weather was so great we gathered on our deck and had lunch (Jackie Foltz made us some of her fantastic "Bierocks") Thanks Jackie!!
We are looking forward to seeing Gary and Heather, Curt's parents, sister, and girlfriend tomorrow. It would be nice to have the same kind of weather, but being Kansas I am not holding my breath.We are just grateful for today....
Hope all of you enjoy this Easter weekend! Blessings to all......
We are looking forward to seeing Gary and Heather, Curt's parents, sister, and girlfriend tomorrow. It would be nice to have the same kind of weather, but being Kansas I am not holding my breath.We are just grateful for today....
Hope all of you enjoy this Easter weekend! Blessings to all......
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Thursday April 1st
Our internet has been down for a couple of days! We switched to ATT and when Cox came out to disconnect I think they did something......So I may be off line intermittently...it may take a while for ATT to get out and fix our problem....because I need to be home...and that has not been possible lately...
We have been at the Cancer Center since before noon, and it is 5:00 now. Probably won't be home until after 6:00. These chemo days are marathon days!! The latest scan report showed that the cancer has gotten no better but no worse, so we are beginning our next round of chemo treatments. He is also going to begin the radiation on his brain in the next couple of weeks also.
Curt, Mary, and Jenna are due to arrive at Mid-Continant this evening and we look forward to seeing them and Gary and Heather this weekend. It should be a fun reunion for the guys!
Blessings to all...enjoy the weekend!
We have been at the Cancer Center since before noon, and it is 5:00 now. Probably won't be home until after 6:00. These chemo days are marathon days!! The latest scan report showed that the cancer has gotten no better but no worse, so we are beginning our next round of chemo treatments. He is also going to begin the radiation on his brain in the next couple of weeks also.
Curt, Mary, and Jenna are due to arrive at Mid-Continant this evening and we look forward to seeing them and Gary and Heather this weekend. It should be a fun reunion for the guys!
Blessings to all...enjoy the weekend!
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