It is hard to believe that on June 30th Dave and I will have been married for 26 years. We were talking not long ago that the years have gone by so fast....so many wonderful memories. He still gives me a hard time that I took the words "obey" out of our vows. There is just no way that I could have kept that one.......
Today I felt the weight of our vows so deeply in my heart..."to love, honor, and cherish thru sickness and thru health" ....after visiting with doctors and praying for guidance, I have decided to cease cancer treatments and bring Dave home. Hospice has already been to our house and he has a bed by ours so that we can still sleep together at night. A nurse will be out tomorrow to assess his health needs further so that we can be sure that he is comfortable. It is the hardest decision that I have ever had to make and although my heart feels heavy, I know that it is the right decision.
Dave has fought this cancer so bravely, but he is tired. He no longer has the ability to speak and it is hard for him to swollow. He does still follow what we say because he can follow directions or nod. I just want him to be here in the house that we built together where we can continue to make memories with our kids and our friends.
Today as the ambulence brought him home (he is too weak to travel by car), reality set in for me. The kids are going to take turns staying with me at night. I will cherish whatever time we have left, his love has been the greatest gift in my life.
Blessings to all who have helped us walk this journey........
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Wednesday April 28
Dave was very uncomfortable this evening and somewhat agitated, it is the first time I have seen him become so agitated ( I can generally soothe him by talking quietly about random things), but after a series of MEDS he is resting well.
Dr. Reddy came in this afternoon and we visited about treatment options. There were too many visitors here to discuss plans with Dave, so he will be back at 8:00 in the morning. I have cancelled radiation permanently, it's "benefit" was not worth the detriment to Dave's well being. I have cancelled his chemo that was scheduled for tomorrow....I think Dave has had just about enough for one week...
I am fairly sure that we will be heading home tomorrow, I suppose it depends on how the rest of the night goes. Chris is coming up after work and Cayte is working so I may go home and get some sleep so that I can return early in the morning.
My mother who was supposed to come tomorrow evidently showed up sometime this afternoon ????............everyone say a little prayer......
Blessings to all........
Dr. Reddy came in this afternoon and we visited about treatment options. There were too many visitors here to discuss plans with Dave, so he will be back at 8:00 in the morning. I have cancelled radiation permanently, it's "benefit" was not worth the detriment to Dave's well being. I have cancelled his chemo that was scheduled for tomorrow....I think Dave has had just about enough for one week...
I am fairly sure that we will be heading home tomorrow, I suppose it depends on how the rest of the night goes. Chris is coming up after work and Cayte is working so I may go home and get some sleep so that I can return early in the morning.
My mother who was supposed to come tomorrow evidently showed up sometime this afternoon ????............everyone say a little prayer......
Blessings to all........
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Tuesday April 27th
This has been quite an eventful 24 hours!
We have been in St. Francis since last night. Dave began having trouble breathing and was having chest pains, so we brought him in to be assessed and to get some relief. They gave him a breathing treatment and followed with oxygen for a couple of hours; when he was stable they moved him to Medical ICU. The doctor was here at 1:30 this morning and stayed for quite awhile. We have decided that for the time being, radiation is not in Dave's best interest and after all of the blood work and assessments are complete we will decide if chemo is still an appropriate measure as well. He is comfortable today and is eating solid food....his thought processes, both receptive and expressive seem to be fairly normal, but in slow motion. His oxygen is normal and steady.
If you call, please call my phone (250-5963), or e-mail me at cpettay@att.net. Please do not call Dave on his phone, because he needs his rest. Visitors are fine but in small increments of time.....(Dave is very frail.) We are in a holding pattern here...and will see what the day brings.....We know that he does have some pneumonia and that is being treated with IV antibiotics, other than that we will just have to wait.....The doctor will be in sometime today.
Thank you for your many blessings.....Dave needs your prayers.
We have been in St. Francis since last night. Dave began having trouble breathing and was having chest pains, so we brought him in to be assessed and to get some relief. They gave him a breathing treatment and followed with oxygen for a couple of hours; when he was stable they moved him to Medical ICU. The doctor was here at 1:30 this morning and stayed for quite awhile. We have decided that for the time being, radiation is not in Dave's best interest and after all of the blood work and assessments are complete we will decide if chemo is still an appropriate measure as well. He is comfortable today and is eating solid food....his thought processes, both receptive and expressive seem to be fairly normal, but in slow motion. His oxygen is normal and steady.
If you call, please call my phone (250-5963), or e-mail me at cpettay@att.net. Please do not call Dave on his phone, because he needs his rest. Visitors are fine but in small increments of time.....(Dave is very frail.) We are in a holding pattern here...and will see what the day brings.....We know that he does have some pneumonia and that is being treated with IV antibiotics, other than that we will just have to wait.....The doctor will be in sometime today.
Thank you for your many blessings.....Dave needs your prayers.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Monday April 26th
Friends, after careful thought I am asking that you refrain from visits for awhile. The cancer and the radiation have really taken a toll on Dave to a point that visits fatigue him and communication is difficult. Hopefully he will rally in a few days and things can get back to "normal". Cards and e-mails are still appreciated....thank you so much for your understanding!! I will let you know as things progress......
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Sunday April 25th
Once again this was a very busy weekend for Dave and our "revolving door" of company! Kip, Leeann, and Jayden came over Friday night and brought Mexican food....who would guess that Dave would be in the mood for that!! HAHA...he is hard to second guess. Mike, Karey and Roz were here from Texas and his sister from Olathe, Janice, Tim, Scott and Alex were here as well. There was a family reunion this weekend in Hutch so everyone was coming this way .....it was a fun visit for us all. Matt and Cayte came over and brought "Big Matt" with them...(it was good to see him).....Chris and Morgan were here most of the weekend....there was a housefull.
I rented some movies, and when Chris came to get Morgan after work this evening, Dave, the dog and I were all in bed, half asleep watching TV. It was a phone off the hook night......
Our week will be a busy one, since he has radiation every day at 11:00. In addition he will go from radiation to chemo on Thursday. That will be a long day that will begin at about 10:30 and go until possibly 4 or 5:00. Chris has offered to take Dave to radiation every day, and that is a help to me since Dave is for all practical purposes bound to his wheelchair. It is getting harder for me to get him in and out of the car, but Chris is able to lift him. It also gives them some time alone together...which they both enjoy.
We continue to receive so many e-mails ad cards. It is amazing the people that we have heard from.....My answering machine is not working......so if you really need me keep trying or call my cell...250-5963.
I visited with Marsha Rowley this afternoon and Dave got all of his paperwork in for the sick leave bank. He will finish the year with enough days that he will not be "docked" pay. He has worried about that fact from day one.....so all is good. He is just really disappointed that the radiation keeps him from going to school.....what a remarkable guy......
Phyllis Guinn and her mom came by this weekend too...It was so good to see them. Her mom is such a remarkable lady.....she is 90+ and holding.....but she looks at least 20 years younger....I think her secret is a positive outlook on life and a smile for everyone......anyway they brought over the poster for the Benefit Bash that is scheduled for May 16th for Dave. There are no words to describe how moved I was when her son (and band member) Kevan called me to ask if they could do this...it will be a very emotional night.
Blessings to all...hope that you have a great week.....
I rented some movies, and when Chris came to get Morgan after work this evening, Dave, the dog and I were all in bed, half asleep watching TV. It was a phone off the hook night......
Our week will be a busy one, since he has radiation every day at 11:00. In addition he will go from radiation to chemo on Thursday. That will be a long day that will begin at about 10:30 and go until possibly 4 or 5:00. Chris has offered to take Dave to radiation every day, and that is a help to me since Dave is for all practical purposes bound to his wheelchair. It is getting harder for me to get him in and out of the car, but Chris is able to lift him. It also gives them some time alone together...which they both enjoy.
We continue to receive so many e-mails ad cards. It is amazing the people that we have heard from.....My answering machine is not working......so if you really need me keep trying or call my cell...250-5963.
I visited with Marsha Rowley this afternoon and Dave got all of his paperwork in for the sick leave bank. He will finish the year with enough days that he will not be "docked" pay. He has worried about that fact from day one.....so all is good. He is just really disappointed that the radiation keeps him from going to school.....what a remarkable guy......
Phyllis Guinn and her mom came by this weekend too...It was so good to see them. Her mom is such a remarkable lady.....she is 90+ and holding.....but she looks at least 20 years younger....I think her secret is a positive outlook on life and a smile for everyone......anyway they brought over the poster for the Benefit Bash that is scheduled for May 16th for Dave. There are no words to describe how moved I was when her son (and band member) Kevan called me to ask if they could do this...it will be a very emotional night.
Blessings to all...hope that you have a great week.....
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Thursday April 22nd
Today was a bit better. Dave is still weak, but not nauseous. We got his blood done and a bag of hydration from West Wichita this morning and then did radiation at 11:00. Our dr.(Davison) at West Wichita as well as his entire staff have been wonderful to help us thru all of this...
Dave slept most of the day. The dr. said that fatigue would possibly be the biggest side effect of radiation. I cleaned house most of the day since I didn't have to mow my lawn (thanks Dave Warn)!!!
Chris and Bailie came by this evening...she and I rented movies and the guys watched basketball..........it was actually a nice evening.
We continue to get e-mails and beautiful messages in cards.....thank you to everyone ...... you keep us afloat some days when the spirit is weak...I pay your kindness forward whenever I can........
Blessings to all......
Dave slept most of the day. The dr. said that fatigue would possibly be the biggest side effect of radiation. I cleaned house most of the day since I didn't have to mow my lawn (thanks Dave Warn)!!!
Chris and Bailie came by this evening...she and I rented movies and the guys watched basketball..........it was actually a nice evening.
We continue to get e-mails and beautiful messages in cards.....thank you to everyone ...... you keep us afloat some days when the spirit is weak...I pay your kindness forward whenever I can........
Blessings to all......
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Wednesday April 21st
Today was a rocky start for Dave. He woke up early not feeling well and I spent the next several hours trying to medicate appropriately and hydrate to get his nausea and stomach cramps to settle. Needless to say we did not go to our first radiation appointment. We will just begin tomorrow after our labs at West Wichita.
Chris stayed with Dave this afternoon so that I could get out and pick up Dave's prescriptions from the Cancer Center and then go to West Wichita to make sure that they were planning on us tomorrow for labs. I was able to see our family doc.....(Joe Davison). I told him that I was concerned about Dave needing hydration so he has it set up for first thing in the morning. The entire staff there has been so good to us during this entire process.....sometimes the Cancer Center is just too busy...I often feel very invisible when I am there......
He slept most of the day but seems better tonight. Hopefully he will be up for the appointments that are ahead of us tomorrow.....I guess we will see.
Blessings to all.....
Chris stayed with Dave this afternoon so that I could get out and pick up Dave's prescriptions from the Cancer Center and then go to West Wichita to make sure that they were planning on us tomorrow for labs. I was able to see our family doc.....(Joe Davison). I told him that I was concerned about Dave needing hydration so he has it set up for first thing in the morning. The entire staff there has been so good to us during this entire process.....sometimes the Cancer Center is just too busy...I often feel very invisible when I am there......
He slept most of the day but seems better tonight. Hopefully he will be up for the appointments that are ahead of us tomorrow.....I guess we will see.
Blessings to all.....
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